Back flat on the mattress and my heart is pounding.
I know it’s not a heart attack simply because this has been a frequent re occurrence and I’m still remaining.
I’m here but sometimes barely.
My reality is frightful at times because I’m not always in the actual state of so called “reality.”
I bounce in and out of my head only to find myself more surprised by the love surrounding myself and often wonder what I did to deserve it.
This world is a beautifully chaotic masterpiece thought up by a being that I can’t even fathom.
Often I shift back and forth in finding beauty and disgust in the human race.
The connections I’ve made often make me feel as if I need to retreat into myself and look down long and deep to see what’s there in me.
These incredible people, none like the other,
all share in this infinite space a terrible gravity, weighing on their hearts and minds.
They bare responsibilities like myself that often overwhelm and burden them.
However, I often find myself thankful for my difficulties because these similarities brought us together.
These tragic beauties are mine to treasure to pick their souls, to love, and to cherish.
I hope they will never leave my side but I couldn’t blame them if life took them away.
Life is constantly shifting and reshaping it’s structure
This unstable dynamic has become my comfortable stage.
When there’s too much order, I feel naked, lacking my blanket of change.
There’s a certain paranoia a person develops once they’ve seen too much change too quickly and then underwent stability.
Negativity is a choice.
I view it as a perfect phenomenon.
It doesn’t have to be all bleak and placid.
This progressive change and shifting is what happens when you finally become open to it.
It’s then that you find the beauty in others, when you’ve seen them at their lowest and you bring each other to a higher state of mind in a 10 minute conversation.
The guilt and pain of the past can be let go when you realize you’re not alone anymore and never were.
The soft embrace, another’s tears landing on your shoulder.
The great need for social interaction, all summed up in a pair of smiles.
Our eyes meet, knowing the secret is our and ours alone.
You are my bliss, dismantling the easier road of ignorance.
You reveal the new roads and surfacing opportunities in your vigilance and abilities.
My inspiration, our connection.
Countries, states, miles, or minutes, I can feel your presence near as my heart pounds on.
In the sounds of breathing and laughter of strangers.
We’re together on our individual journeys, making this art ever more incredible.